Swinging (sexual term)#
Verb
/swɪŋ.ɪŋ/
1. Swinging (or "the lifestyle", also referred to as wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping) is a form of consensual, recreational non-monogamy in which committed partners sexually engage with other people as a social or couple-oriented activity. The practice is often synonymous with the term "the lifestyle," or "swing lifestyle". Swinging is distinct from other forms of ethical non-monogamy, such as polyamory, as it typically emphasizes sexual exploration and variety over the formation of multiple deep, romantic relationships. Activities often occur in a social setting, such as at a dedicated swingers' club, a private party, or through arranged meet-ups.
2. The act of partner swapping or engaging in group sex with the full knowledge and consent of one's primary partner.
Key Principles and Terminology:#
- Informed Consent: The cornerstone of swinging. All participants must be aware of and agree (offer informed consent) to the activities.
- Couple-Based Dynamic: While single individuals may participate, the culture is predominantly centered on couples exploring partner swapping together to enhance their own relationship.
- Established Rules: Participating couples usually define their own boundaries and rules beforehand (e.g., "soft swap" vs. "full swap," same-room play).
- The Lifestyle (LS): A common term used by the community to refer to swinging and associated practices, emphasizing consensual non-monogamy, open communication, and sexual exploration.
- Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) / Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM): An umbrella term for relationship styles that involve multiple sexual or romantic partners with the informed consent and ethical consideration of everyone involved. Swinging falls under this category.
- Monogamish: A committed, primary relationship that is mostly monogamous but allows for occasional, agreed-upon sexual encounters outside the main partnership.
- Vanilla:A term for individuals or sexual activities considered traditional or conventional, i.e., those who are not involved in the swinging lifestyle or BDSM
Common Classifications:#
- Soft Swap: Couples engage in sexual activity with others that stops short of penetrative intercourse (e.g., kissing, oral sex, mutual masturbation).
- Full Swap: Couples engage in penetrative vaginal or anal sex with partners outside the primary relationship.
- Same Room / Same Room, Different Partner (SRDP): An arrangement where both partners in a couple engage in sexual activities with others while remaining in the same room.
- Closed Door / Different Room, Different Partner (DRDP): An arrangement where partners engage in sexual activities with others in separate rooms or private spaces.
- Parallel Play: A form of same-room play where couples engage with their respective partners in close proximity to other couples, without necessarily interacting with the other couple's partners.
- Group Sex: Multiple individuals engaging in sexual activity together simultaneously (e.g., threesomes, orgies).
- Boundaries / Hard Limits: Personal rules and boundaries that participants establish to define acceptable behaviors, activities, or interactions. Communication and respect for these limits are paramount.
- Vetting: The process of screening potential play partners to ensure they are safe, respectful, and compatible before engaging in sexual activities.
Etymology and History:#
The term became widely used in the Western world during the 1950s and 1960s, though the practice has historical precedents. It is associated with a liberal and open approach to sexuality within a committed partnership.
Roles and Participants of Swingers#
- Newbie: A newcomer to the swinging lifestyle who is in an exploratory phase.
- Unicorn: A single, typically bisexual female who is open to joining an existing couple for sexual activities. They are highly sought after in the community.
- Hotwife / Hothusband: A dynamic where a partner (most often the wife) has sex with other people with the primary partner's enthusiastic consent and encouragement. The primary partner may or may not be present.
- Cuckold: A man who derives sexual pleasure from watching or knowing that his wife/partner is having sex with another man (often referred to as a "bull").
- Bull: a man who has sexual contact with another man's partner. The term is often used in a "cuckolding" context, where the bull is the dominant male engaging with the cuckold's partner
Venues: Where Swingers Meet
- Swinger Club / Sex Club: A commercial establishment with various facilities and play areas for swingers to meet and engage in sexual activities.
- Swingers Lifestyle Events: Sexy events that are specific to swingers lifestyle and hedonists, including hotel take-overs, holiday lifestyle resorts, lifestyle cruises, beach parties and themed parties. Examples include Tabota Events (swingers events), Hedonism II, Desire Resorts, Temptation Resort, Secrets Hideaway, and Caliente Club and Resort.
- House Party: A non-commercial, often more intimate gathering at a private home for swinging activities.
- Munch: A non-sexual social meet-up where swingers can converse and get to know potential partners in a comfortable public setting (e.g., a restaurant or bar).
- Upside-Down Pineapple: A discreet, non-verbal symbol (e.g., on clothing or a cruise ship door) used by swingers to identify each other in public settings